When people are mean, nasty, angry, impatient or bitter to us, it is perhaps natural for us to be upset and suffer a subsequent lack of confidence.

It can be very debilitating to be attacked verbally by another person, especially if that other person is a friend, work colleague or family member.

We take their outbursts to heart, questioning ourselves and wondering what we did wrong to occasion such words.

Regular exposure to this sort of behaviour can make us seriously doubt ourselves and look to make changes to our personality, habits or behaviour in order to avoid future conflict.

However, in time it becomes apparent that no matter what we do or how we modify our behaviour, we are still subjected to the same treatment.

If we sit in silence and think about this for a while, we may come to certain conclusions.

Whatever we say or do, however different we try to be with these people, their reactions remain the same.

Therefore, the problem clearly does not lie with us, but within them.

You cannot express what you do not have inside.

If you are the sort of person who is generous, loving and kind to all around them, that is how you will react in each circumstance and event you come across.

If you don’t have anger, bitterness and malice inside you, it cannot come out.

Take a sponge and soak it in vinegar. If you squeeze the sponge, vinegar will come out, because that is what is inside.

If you take another sponge and soak it in sweet apple juice, when you squeeze that sponge sweet apple juice will come out.

We are the same: squeeze a mean, bitter person and meanness and bitterness will come out.

Squeeze a sweet and loving person and sweetness and love will come out.

It can be no other way. Only that which is already inside can manifest on the outside.

So, if you want to know what people are made of inside, you just have to observe how they react to situations on a daily basis.

Therefore, do not blame or berate yourself when someone is mean to you, for it does not say anything about you at all.

It speaks very loudly about the person being mean, bitter, angry or sarcastic.

Once seen and recognised, these things cannot be unseen and the only question for us then is how much of our time and energy we will continue to devote to someone who is incapable of acting in a loving and compassionate way towards us.