It is very tempting when things ‘go wrong’ in our lives to blame someone or something outside of us.

The bankers/government/multinationals etc are responsible for the economic uncertainty most of us face.

He made me feel uncomfortable by forcefully stating an opinion contrary to mine.

She makes me feel unloved by not tending to my every need.

However, if we take the time to think about it rationally and reflect quietly, we will see that nothing that happens in the outside world can affect us unless we let it.

If our lives have ‘gone wrong’ it is because we have allowed it to happen, illness and accidents excepted of course (although there is increasing evidence that our outlook and moods can affect our health).

If we choose to be upset because someone hasn’t shown us due consideration we will be upset and we will probably justify this to ourselves by laying the blame for our bad mood at the feet of the inconsiderate person who we let upset us.

If we choose to respond to rudeness or challenge in a different manner, however, we can very easily override any feelings of anger, discomfort and miserableness, thereby maintaining a positive and even outlook.

We tend to notice in the world that which supports our chosen world view.

If we are generally a ‘glass half empty’ person, we will point to all the wars, starvation, crime, suffering and deprivation in the world and say that the world is a hostile, loveless place where it’s dog eat dog and only the toughest will survive.

The opposite view point, however, will be equally true to someone who sees the good in others and views life’s ups and downs as exciting challenges or puzzles to solve.

By attempting to remain conscious as much as possible, we can remember that it is not the outside world that creates problems for us, it is us who creates problems for ourselves, whilst blaming the outside world in order to relieve ourselves of the responsibility of doing something about it.

Being conscious changes our perspective and moves our awareness to a higher plane, from which we can see that our unhappiness actually springs from within.

We don’t remove the ‘problem’ as such, we just alter our perspective such that we realise that there is no problem any more.

Whatever will happen, will happen.

It is how we react that will determine whether we will be happy or miserable in life.

This is great news for those of us who have struggled with feelings of helplessness and gloom.

We don’t have to feel that way if we can remember to choose not to.

Part of this will entail developing different habits in certain situations – ie not succumbing to fear and the ‘fight or flight’ reflex which cause us to react in a negative way to outside events.

Also, a regular meditation or contemplation regime will help us to still the mind and allow calm to permeate when we need it to.

Stopping the negative chatter that fills our minds all day is not easy, but by trying to be aware of it on a daily basis, we can gradually head off negative mind tricks as they are popping up into our heads.

Striving to be more conscious of ourselves, how our minds work, the repetitive words and phrases that we say over and over to ourselves on a minute by minute basis will allow us to spot these moments before they arise fully and recognise them for what they are – habitual limiting beliefs.

What we are striving to do is to interrupt the negative thought patterns before they have a chance to take hold of us and drag us down to the bottom of the pond where we will most likely end up in a very sticky tangle.

Everything we need to be happy is already within us.

On the surface, this sounds counter intuitive – but, if we stop and sit quietly for a few moments and recognise the truth of this sentence, it can be very liberating.

No longer will we need to be victims of other people’s opinions and harsh words.

No longer will we sit watching the news, moaning about the state of the country or the world.

No longer will we wish that we could win the lottery just so that we could ‘be happy’ – if you are not happy before you win the lottery, you will just become a miserable rich person.

No longer will we complain about other people who seem to have it all their own way in the world – if we had their luck, we’d be wealthy and happy too…

Instead we will take responsibility for our own happiness and success in life.

We will understand that no matter what happens in the outside world, true happiness lies in the inner world – and it is available to any of us, at any time.

We have been given exactly what we need in order to lead a healthy and happy life.

But we need to take the right actions ourselves to ensure that we create the life that we want to lead.

The Universe has given us the ingredients, but it is still up to us to bake the cake…