Gifts

Posted on December 26, 2014 by Nick Cork

At this time of year, we will have already spent a lot of time searching for and receiving gifts.

We have trawled through shops and internet sites, desperately seeking that perfect gift which will make a loved one feel happy and loved.

Now that the feeding frenzy that is the pre Xmas shop is over and the second feeding frenzy that is the post Xmas sales has begun, we may be wondering whether our gifts have achieved what we wanted or whether we still need to hit the shops and the internet to get more stuff for ourselves and our loved ones.

If our search for the perfect gift at Xmas has not produced the desired results, perhaps we have been searching in the wrong place.

Yes, the shops all have those signs next to the latest gadget, stating that it is the perfect gift for him – or next to a kitchen appliance claiming it to be the perfect gift for her.

But this never seems to quite hit the mark long term, no matter how much it costs.

When we look back at Xmas past, what is it that we remember? Is it how many presents we had, how expensive they were or whether it was the latest ‘must have’?

Probably not.

When we look back, we remember who we were with, whether we had fun, how we felt about sharing the time with friends and family.

So it would seem that the perfect gift for Xmas is not something that will cost us the most money, but something that is essentially free.

The best gift we can give at Xmas (or at any time) is our love and time. We can be truly present for our loved ones, making time for them, sharing moments, giving and receiving love, making memories.

Presents don’t make memories, people do.

For the ‘perfect gift’next year, why not give presence…

 

 

 

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Possibilities

Posted on September 10, 2014 by Nick Cork

Few of us realise that life is All Possibilities.

Nothing is set in stone and the greatest limitations that any of us have are the ones that we place on ourselves.

It is our propensity to identify with our past and things ‘that have happened to us’ in our lives that creates the conditions within which we restrict ourselves.

We all have a personal narrative and history that we tell, which explains why we are where we are today and why we are the person that we are today.

Although it is useful to recognise where we have come from, the past should not really be something that restricts or limits our future.

However, by identifying too emotionally with our history and our legend, we can often limit our choices for the future.

We repeat in our minds sentiments and internal dialogue such as: people like us don’t get rich; I’ve never been any good at that; we’ve always been unlucky; I’m destined never to find true happiness.

These internal dialogues, based on the belief that because something hasn’t happened yet it never will, cause us to become restricted in what opportunities we are open to.

They are mantras of enslavement, rather than of empowerment.

If we honestly and seriously believe that we are forever destined to be slaving away at the bottom of the pile, then that is what we will get, for we will be closed to any potential opportunities that could take us out of that situation.

However, if we can learn to see our past for what it is – a useful indicator of our journey so far, but also something that has now gone and can be superseded – we can begin to train ourselves to open up to opportunities that we had not previously recognised.

By making a conscious effort to view life as All Possibilities and to not place restrictions or limits on ourselves based on what has gone before, we will soon notice that there are opportunities everywhere.

Once we change our perception of what is possible for us, we will no longer be slaves to our past, but will become creators and change our future.

 

 

 

 

 

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Lessons

Posted on September 8, 2014 by Nick Cork

We all have experience of people in our lives who treat us badly, rub us up the wrong way or appear to be constantly challenging us.

This  can be upsetting and stressful for us, particularly when they are people that we are in daily or frequent contact with.

We wish they were out of our lives, that they would leave us alone.

Some of us always seem to be encountering people like this in our lives and we wonder what we have done to deserve it.

Viewed from the spiritual perspective, these people are here to teach us a lesson about life or ourselves.

Their behaviour (and the behaviour of others like them who come into our lives) should be seen as a blessing.

Although this sounds counter intuitive, if we stop to consider for a moment, we will see that it is not.

If life is always easy, we will not grow – we will stagnate and wither.

Life, seen from a spiritual dimension, is an opportunity to learn valuable lessons and develop our own inner resources.

If everyone in our life was kind and good to us, we would not have much opportunity for growth.

We do not have to like the mean people who teach us lessons.

However, we can be thankful for them, for they present us with an opportunity to learn how to deal with them – to work out what the lesson is that we need to learn.

Once we have learnt that lesson, our reward is that we will not have people like that in our life again – and if we do, we will know how to deal with them.

So, for every person in your life that treats you badly, give thanks.

Then work out what it is that they are sent to teach you – is it to stand up to bullies, learn self reliance, find your inner warrior or how to move on in peace?

Whatever the lesson, learn it and give thanks. Then move on…

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Mean

Posted on September 7, 2014 by Nick Cork

When people are mean, nasty, angry, impatient or bitter to us, it is perhaps natural for us to be upset and suffer a subsequent lack of confidence.

It can be very debilitating to be attacked verbally by another person, especially if that other person is a friend, work colleague or family member.

We take their outbursts to heart, questioning ourselves and wondering what we did wrong to occasion such words.

Regular exposure to this sort of behaviour can make us seriously doubt ourselves and look to make changes to our personality, habits or behaviour in order to avoid future conflict.

However, in time it becomes apparent that no matter what we do or how we modify our behaviour, we are still subjected to the same treatment.

If we sit in silence and think about this for a while, we may come to certain conclusions.

Whatever we say or do, however different we try to be with these people, their reactions remain the same.

Therefore, the problem clearly does not lie with us, but within them.

You cannot express what you do not have inside.

If you are the sort of person who is generous, loving and kind to all around them, that is how you will react in each circumstance and event you come across.

If you don’t have anger, bitterness and malice inside you, it cannot come out.

Take a sponge and soak it in vinegar. If you squeeze the sponge, vinegar will come out, because that is what is inside.

If you take another sponge and soak it in sweet apple juice, when you squeeze that sponge sweet apple juice will come out.

We are the same: squeeze a mean, bitter person and meanness and bitterness will come out.

Squeeze a sweet and loving person and sweetness and love will come out.

It can be no other way. Only that which is already inside can manifest on the outside.

So, if you want to know what people are made of inside, you just have to observe how they react to situations on a daily basis.

Therefore, do not blame or berate yourself when someone is mean to you, for it does not say anything about you at all.

It speaks very loudly about the person being mean, bitter, angry or sarcastic.

Once seen and recognised, these things cannot be unseen and the only question for us then is how much of our time and energy we will continue to devote to someone who is incapable of acting in a loving and compassionate way towards us.

Kissing couple

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Worry

Posted on September 6, 2014 by Nick Cork

I used to be a bit of a worrier.

Not as bad as Woody Allen, but I have been know to lie awake at night mulling things over and wondering how they will turn out.

Worrying tended to be worse when there was something that was not quite resolved – when it could go either way and the scales were finely balanced between ‘it’s all going to be OK’ and ‘we’re all doomed’.

One thing that helped reduce the amount of worrying that I did was to stop watching TV and reading newspapers.

There was an instant reduction in the worrying about the state of the economy, the world in general and the amount of crime in the near vicinity.

And not knowing about these things did not mean that I became a victim of crime, or suffered economic misfortune through lack of knowing how bad everything was.

In fact, quite the opposite was true.

By not worrying about all the woes and misfortunes in the world at every moment of the day, I was free to focus on getting things done instead.

What this taught me was that there is no point in worrying about those things that we are not in control of (such as world events, the economy or the local crime rate), because there is absolutely nothing that we can personally do about it (as we have no control over them).

This realisation is enough to free up our minds enough to focus on those things that we do have control over – which then removes another source of worry.

It soon becomes clear that worry is a pointless habit. It serves no good purpose for us at all and is entirely counter intuitive.

For we cannot logically worry about that over which we have no control and we don’t need to worry about those things that we can control.

Therefore, in reality, we have no good reason to worry about anything.

Recognising this for ourselves is wisdom.

Not worrying about the things over which we have no control is discipline.

Doing something about those things over which we do have control is courage.

Wisdom. Discipline. Courage.

So much more valuable traits than being a worrier.

Worry beads on candle

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Gift

Posted on September 6, 2014 by Nick Cork

We are all unique, yet connected at a deep soul level.

For everything in the Universe is connected, as demonstrated by numerous quantum physics experiments.

Some feel this connection more than others and are able to transcend the daily grind to see life from a wider perspective.

You could say they see the bigger picture – some call it enlightenment.

Whatever you call it is not important – what matters is recognising that through seeing the bigger picture these people also recognise that they have a gift within them that ultimately does not belong to them.

It belongs to the Universe and is meant to be shared.

They recognise that they have a responsibility to share this gift that was freely given.

Because we are all unique, yet connected everyone’s gift is different in some way – yet still able to be enjoyed and appreciated by everyone else.

Therein lies the responsibility – we all have something to offer and in the offering of it we can help others to realise what they have to offer as well.

Our greatest gift is the giving itself, for it is this that connects us on a conscious level with everyone around us.

The act of giving is deeply spiritual – it is impossible to have a mindset that is geared towards giving to others and not be filled with love.

What is within is expressed without. If it is not there, it can’t be expressed.

So our purpose in life is not to accumulate goods, money, power or influence.

Our purpose is to find that gift within and have the courage to share it with the rest of the world, so that others may be encouraged to seek and find their gift as well.

Gift box

 

 

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Linked

Posted on September 2, 2014 by Nick Cork

Everything is connected…

It took me 5 years to write my LinkedIn profile summary – how do you sum up your life when you are still in the process of carving your path out of the rock of opportunity?

All I really wanted to say in my profile was that I have learned a great deal over the course of my life, most of which will be of benefit to others (if they are interested).

We all have this to offer to those around us – our perspective on life, seen through the eyes of direct experience of life’s lessons.

Not all of the lessons have been directly work related, but even those that aren’t can be applied in work based scenarios by the mere fact that we are all human beings trying to make our way in the world as best we can.

We make mistakes, we learn from them (hopefully) and we grow as people, colleagues, friends.

You cannot really separate your work life from your home life – everything is connected.

If you are open, caring, compassionate and honourable at home, you probably will be at work as well.

If you are grasping, dishonest, a bully or a desperate careerist at work, you’re probably not a whole lot of fun at home either.

So I try to live my life both at work and at home to the best of my ability – with authenticity, compassion, integrity, understanding, love and forgiveness.

Whether you think that makes someone a good manager, employee, leader or colleague probably says a great deal about the sort of person you are as well.

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Unique

Posted on August 26, 2014 by Nick Cork

We are each of us born unique – we have never been before and we will never be again.

Because of this, we have a responsibility to embrace our uniqueness and nourish it, so that we can grow and offer something different to the world.

It is very easy to conform to what others expect of us – but that way lies certain unhappiness and spiritual stagnation.

Why would we want to live a life dictated by others, to make their mistakes or succeed only by following their path or direction?

The greatest achievement in life is to live your own life and make it a success – in spite (or because) of what others may try to tell you.

Having your own vision of success, underpinned by your own unique values and hard won over many years of sticking to your principles, not being discouraged by those who would seek to bring you down, not giving up despite the difficulties, pushing on and finally looking back with satisfaction at the winding, wild path that lies behind you – this is true satisfaction in life.

When others judge us harshly for being ourselves it reveals more about the kind of person they are than it does about us.

Don’t be put off or swayed by the poor opinion of those who are blindly following someone else’s path or conforming blandly to what ‘society’ expects of them.

They will wake up one day in a cold sweat and realise that they have wasted their opportunity to add something new to the world or walk a different path.

Don’t be that person who wakes up in 20 years time and wishes they had not blindly followed the direction or advice of others on how to live life.

It is your life, your chance to shine in the world – you will never be again, so you simply must do your best to be the unique and special person that you were born to be.

Whatever it is that makes you proud to be you, do more of it. Whatever sets you apart from those around you – embrace and nourish it.

Society wants everyone to be the same, because then we would be easy to manage or control. But who among us would want to live in a world where there are 7 billion others just like us?

Live your own life in your own way and allow others to do the same – if everyone had this attitude the world would be a truly beautiful place in which to live.

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Joy

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Nick Cork

I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that one of the keys to good health was having at least 3 belly laughs a day.

How many of us can say that we do this on a regular basis?

It’s very easy to ‘forget’ to enjoy life. We can get caught up in the pressures of work or the demands of running a home and forget that life should be enjoyable. It should be fun.

But fun doesn’t necessarily just happen – sometimes we have to set aside some time and make a conscious decision to enjoy that time to its full.

There can be no greater pleasure than laughing with our loved ones – being silly with each other, just because we can.

And it can become self perpetuating. The more we seek out opportunities to have fun and laugh, the more opportunities will arise.

Finding the joy in our lives can be a wonderful discovery – giving in to giggles rather than being serious, messing about with the kids just for the hell of it, surprising our loved ones with stupid tricks or games, getting dressed up and making a fool of ourselves on video – there are countless ways in which we can bring laughter into our lives.

The more we laugh, the more people around us will laugh. It is very hard to be miserable with someone who is laughing.

I don’t know whether laughing regularly has a positive effect on our health or not – but it will certainly have a positive effect on our relationships with our loved ones.

So, even if it isn’t the key to good health, having a good laugh on a regular basis is certainly the key to finding the joy that is waiting for us in life.

Here’s one of my belly laughs for today – I defy anyone to watch this Laurel and Hardy clip and remain stony faced.

 

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Myxomatosis

Posted on August 24, 2014 by Nick Cork

I was out running through the woods this morning and came across a rabbit, listlessly sitting in the grass – clearly blind and with a head full of tumours.

On hearing me approach, it tried to run, but being blind it ran straight into a tree and confused itself.

I made an instant decision that I needed to put it out of its misery, which entailed grabbing it by its hind legs, stunning it with a chop to the back of the head and finishing it off with a swing against the tree.

It was fast and the poor little soul was finally released from its misery and pain.

I then sat down on the grass and spent a moment with the rabbit, saying a prayer for its soul and shedding a tear or two on its behalf.

There was no-one else there to mourn its passing and I felt the curious combination of quiet satisfaction at being able to put an end to its suffering combined with the intense pain and responsibility of taking a life.

As I sat there with the lifeless body, the sun streaming down on us, I wondered how many creatures were going to die today whose passing would not be noted, marked, witnessed or remembered.

Not just animals, but humans as well.

For we have all become so used to seeing death and destruction in the media, in films and games, that we are almost blasé about it most of the time.

But the death of a living being (any living being) is a tragedy – if we were to take a moment to reflect on our own experiences of death on a regular basis, we may just all be a little more tolerant of each other.

For we would realise that our time on Earth is limited – all we can really be sure of is that we have this moment that we are in now.

Because of that, this moment is the most beautiful and precious gift available to us – and if we truly live it, we will be totally alive.

We have a responsibility, as guardians of the now, to make the most of every moment available to us:

By treating ourselves and others with kindness and compassion: by not complaining if things don’t always go how we want them to; by being generous and loving to those around us; by seeing the joy in life and recognising it when we do; by living consciously and encouraging others to do the same.

 

 

 

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