Perception

Posted on June 20, 2014 by Nick Cork

We all see the world in a slightly different way.

My reality is different from yours and yours from the person next to you.

Upbringing, past experiences, cultural, social and religious beliefs all play a part in shaping how we see the world.

As no 2 people have led exactly the same life, no 2 people will see the world in exactly the same way.

Most of the information that we process from the outside world is edited out by our brains before we are aware of it, which means that we only see what our brains allow us to see, based on our beliefs and conditioning.

Whilst this should make us more understanding and tolerant of each other, it doesn’t appear to be the case at the moment.

Perhaps the ability of the mass media to influence and shape our perceptions on a global basis has programmed us to see the world in a negative way.

As individuals, however, we have the power to break free of this conditioning. We can choose to see the world in a more positive light.

By training our conscious mind to influence our subconscious beliefs and programming, we can change what information our brain retains and how we perceive the world.

It is possible to be basically happy and positive even if bad things happen around or to us.

We can choose how much we allow life to affect us on a daily basis.

We all know people who roll with the punches that life throws at them and come up smiling. We also know folks who fly off the handle at the slightest perceived slight or turn of bad luck.

And we can learn to be more like the former and less like the latter, if we want to.Wild Rose Buds 2

Noticing things that are pleasurable or beautiful, expressing gratitude, taking time to meditate, not watching the news, choosing to be kind to others, recognising kindness when it is shown to us, celebrating the good things that happen and not dwelling too much on the negative things – all of these simple measures will help over time to instil in us a more positive perception of the world.

As we begin to feel better about ourselves and the world around us, we will find that people will perceive and treat us differently.

And we will begin to awaken to the awareness that life contains all possibilities.

 

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Opinion

Posted on June 15, 2014 by Nick Cork

We have probably all done it at some point, but there really is no point in living our life to try to elicit the good opinions of others.

Opinions are transitory and can change in an instant – even our own.

It does not serve us well at all to put too much emphasis on gaining the good opinion of others.

For their approval will most likely be based on what we can do for them or on a set of values that they hold, but which do not necessarily speak for us.

Or, worse still, on their parroting what the media or ‘thought leaders’ trot out on a daily basis to fill the space between the adverts.

And why would we want to live our lives by someone else’s values?

It is very easy for us to get caught up in people pleasing, or in not doing something beneficial for ourselves through fear of what others may think of us.

Life is there to be lived and we are imperfect beings. We will make mistakes, but they should be our mistakes, not someone else’s.

If we want to experience all that life has to offer us, we must be true to ourselves only – guided by our hearts and our authenticity.

This means that we need to work out what our values are, for how can we be true to our values before we know what they are?

This requires conscious thought, evaluation, judgement and discipline – all of which are in short supply in a world that is becoming ever more uniform and restricting.

We need to start making our own decisions and our own mistakes – it is the only way we can live our lives in an authentic and personal way.

We are so used to being told what to do, that we are in danger of only doing what others expect or hope us to do. That is not living our own authentic lives – it is living by consensus.Kennick low

 

 

 

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Dumb?

Posted on June 15, 2014 by Nick Cork

I bought a scented candle recently. The photo below is from the top, before I have taken off the protective cover:

Really?

Really?

At some point in the development of the packaging for this candle, someone has decided that there is a need to put a warning on the lid, advising another human being that they should remove the protective cover before burning the candle.

It is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous statements ever to grace packaging of any description.

Not only is it physically impossible to light the candle whilst the protective plastic cover is in place, I cannot imagine anyone even trying to do such a thing.

How stupid do the candle makers, Baylis & Harding, think that their customers are?

Another stark example of the dumbing down of society.

 

 

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Aspiration

Posted on June 8, 2014 by Nick Cork

There is currently a profusion of self help books, videos, classes and gurus peddling the promise of unlimited wealth.

The quantum genie is out of the bottle and suddenly all the old snake oil salesmen are experts in physics, meditation, visualisation and manifestation.

Serious studies into the effects of intention, prayer and visualisation have been appropriated and exaggerated to the point where most folks probably feel that they are lacking some basic function of humanity if they haven’t already created a castle in the countryside from repeating a few simple mantras for a month.

It certainly helps manifest plenty of money for the writers of the many books on the subject…

Like the diet industry before it, the self help industry is now a bloated joke, with increasingly bizarre and left field gurus taking centre stage to promote their latest book, attempting the same sleight of hand that worked so well for the diet industry – overcomplicate a problem to make people feel that they need an expensive and increasingly elaborate solution.

Just as the solution to being overweight is not complicated (consume less calories than you burn up, through a combination of a balanced diet and exercise), the solution to the modern diseases of stress and anxiety is similarly simple – meditation, connecting to nature and doing things we enjoy with people we love.

None of these activities will sell many books, DVDs and talk shows, though. There is not a lot of kit needed to meditate (cushion, little bell or loose fitting pyjamas excepted), walking in the countryside (walking boots, walking trousers and poles aside) or spending quality time playing and talking with our loved ones.

Rather than be encouraged to enjoy these simple pleasures, we are bombarded with images of ‘perfect’ celebrities who have ‘made it’ and manifested unlimited wealth and power into their lives.

We are made to feel inadequate (just as women are for not being unhealthily skinny) because we are not fabulously wealthy.

But there is one question that we need to ask ourselves before we step on the self help conveyor belt to unlimited wealth and power being manifested in our lives: why?

Why do we want to be incredibly wealthy? It is possible, if you spend many years focussing purely on accumulating more and more money, that one day you may achieve your dream.

Of course, by then your children would have grown up, left home and married, your husband, wife or partner would be feeling pretty neglected, you will likely be a one dimensional machine of a person – but, hey, you could have wealth and power.

What will you do with all that money, when there is nothing of any real value left in your life to enjoy it with?

I am reminded of the story of the fisherman and the businessman.

My point here is not that accumulating wealth or power is necessarily wrong, but that it may not be for everyone.

Money is a currency, something which is exchanged for real things like goods and services. As an end in itself, it is not a very imaginative or necessarily rewarding goal.

When we consider our aspirations in life, merely accumulating wealth may not actually do us much good in the final analysis.

We should go that one step further: why do we aspire to be wealthy? What will I do with the money when I have it? Is it worth devoting 10, 15, 2o years of my life to, possibly at the immediate expense of my relationships with my family, friends and my soul?

It is the answer to the why question that will tell us what we really aspire to in our life – and it may just be that we find we have most of what we want already…

 

 

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Conscience

Posted on June 1, 2014 by Nick Cork

How would we act if we thought that no-one would ever find out what we had done?

How many of us are capable of performing a kind act for someone, without ever telling another person?

Perhaps more pertinently, how many of us are capable of performing an unkind act to someone, if we thought that no-one would ever find out?

Is it only the fear of being caught out (and the consequences of this) that keeps us all from turning on one another?

Personally, I prefer to believe that people are intrinsically good and that it is the conditioning that we are exposed to from an early age that can knock us off our true path.

We have forgotten our natural loving nature and allowed ourselves to believe that we are all separate.

Society teaches us that the world is a harsh, dog eat dog place – that to survive and flourish we must beat our competitors. By whatever means necessary.

This programming works at a sub conscious level to condition us to see every other human as a potential competitor, rather than as a unique expression of the miracle of life.

As a species, it also imbues us with the conviction that we are the most advanced creature on the planet and therefore have the right to do with it what we wish.

“I didn’t do it”

Collectively, we think that no-one is watching as we clog up the oceans with oil and plastic, destroy the natural oxygen giving forests, bury radioactive waste for future generations to sort out, hunt beautiful creatures to extinction and drop bombs on women and children in the name of peace.

How did we get it so wrong? And, more importantly, how can we put it right?

We could start at an individual level by reconnecting with the divine spark that glows inside us all.

We all know the difference between right and wrong. It is within us and cannot be destroyed, no matter how much some of us would like to bury it.

If we sit quietly for a few minutes each day, breathe regularly and don’t follow our thoughts – just be present in the breath and the sitting – we will slowly discover a peace and calm within that allows our deeper nature to come to the fore.

We will realise that we are not all separate – that we are made from the same material, breathe the same air and have the same wants, needs, hopes and fears.

Empathy leads to compassion and with compassion comes the sense that we are reliant on each other for survival – none of us can ever achieve anything worthwhile without the help and support of any number of other people.

With compassion comes a sense of responsibility – that we each have a role to play in the lives of those who we come into contact with, as well as a wider role to protect and conserve the planet for future generations.

Once we reach this stage, there is no doubt that our every move is being watched and evaluated as to whether we acted in the best interests of those we came into contact with, or whether we could have done more.

It is our own conscience that will tell us whether we have done the right thing or not. And it cannot be fooled.

 

 

 

 

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Beginner

Posted on May 31, 2014 by Nick Cork

Those who know me will often hear me say that life is ‘all possibilities’.

By this I mean that each day brings a fresh opportunity to make a new start.

Whatever life has thrown us up until today need not determine how we act today and for the rest of our lives.

The concept of life being an endlessly renewing opportunity is one that is central to the Zen philosophy.

Shunryu Suzuki, in his classic work Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind,  wrote:

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind there are few.

I remember when I first read these words. I had bought the book that morning and was sat in the garden of a public building in Bristol, waiting to go in and start a food security course.Kennick Lake

The sun was shining and it was a warm June day; the garden was full of birds, bees and butterflies and I remember feeling very relaxed.

I opened the book and turned to the prologue. I read the sentence above and stopped.

I then closed the book and sat in the garden for a further 20 minutes or so, until the course started. I never read any further. This was all I needed to hear at that time.

Over the intervening years, this sentence has stayed with me. It has guided me and helped me to remain curious and alert when dealing with life’s issues and opportunities.

From a business perspective, it is good to be reminded that none of us know everything there is to know about any situation – no matter how familiar the situation, the people involved may be very different.

This means that the potential outcomes will vary according to the interaction of the various characters involved.

If we approach a familiar situation expecting to be able to apply a generic solution, we will be doing a disservice to those involved and will end up with a less than satisfactory outcome.

By approaching the problem with a beginner’s mind, we don’t assume anything. We are curious and ask questions.

We do not seek to apply a generic solution, because by its very nature a generic solution will not be appropriate for anyone.

If we approach life in the same way, as a beginner, we will notice that we have more possibilities open to us than we originally thought.

By questioning, being curious and truly seeing what is there (rather than what we expect to be there), we soon discover that life is, indeed, all possibilities.

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Television

Posted on May 25, 2014 by Nick Cork

It is difficult to exhibit independent thought whilst locked into the programmed world of 24 hour news and TV.

Like a demonic stage hypnotist in the corner of the room, the TV has taken over the lives of the majority of people in our society.

Through it, we are sold a lie: TV world tells us that if we buy enough of a particular product our lives will be perfect and our kids well adjusted.

In TV world’s adverts, cars only drive on empty, open roads or rugged countryside, never in fume filled, road rage beset urban jams.

In TV world’s sports programmes, each game is always “vitally important” to both sides, “crucial” – life and death.

In TV world’s news programmes, the news is always grim. Who decided that news always has to be bad?

20140525_185613

‘What are you looking at?’

‘Here is the news: you are a slave to a box.’

That’s bad news for the soul.

Some of our most watched programmes are either soaps or murder mysteries – so, who decided that ‘entertainment’ is watching riff-raff argue or smug middle class know-it-alls solving grisly murders?

Why are we being fed a diet of sports, murder mysteries, soaps and game shows?

What effect is this having on our collective psyche? On our potential to grow spiritually and intellectually?

Television kills conversation, participation in real activities and independent thought. We regurgitate sound bites fed to us on a daily basis and believe that we are thinking for ourselves.

In TV world, we are programmed to accept what we are told. Reasoned, intelligent and informed conversation is replaced with wild-eyed shouting and swearing matches – or processed ‘opinions’ from trained performers.

Wake up and smell the flowers

Wake up and smell the flowers

All over the country, men lie on sofas watching sports, whilst their wives vacuum up around them or stagger past with armfuls of washing.

Do they even notice any more?

We are hypnotised, brains slowly atrophying under the sheer weight of inanity and profanity exuding from the increasingly large box in the corner.

But there is another way.

Turn it off.

Better still, throw it away.

We know that it is no good for us. Many of us even complain that there is ‘nothing decent on any more’.

But as long as it’s there, we will switch it on and switch our minds off.

It will be difficult at first to go cold turkey in no-TV world.

We will miss it’s comforting lure, the hypnotising repetition, the lack of need to engage the mind.

However, after a relatively short withdrawal period, we find that something amazing has happened.

We start to question things for ourselves. We notice birds in the garden, cattle in the fields, our partners struggling with the washing.

And once our eyes have been opened, we cannot go back. Soon after the eyes open, the mind eventually does the same.

We realise that we have been hypnotised for years, every night, into not questioning – just accepting things as they are.

Ditching the TV is the first step on the road to awakening to a new life, a higher purpose.

In no-TV world, there are endless possibilities.

 

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Candle

Posted on May 24, 2014 by Nick Cork

We all have those black corners in our mind where we would rather not go.

They are home to our worst fears, biggest regrets and darkest secrets.

For most of us they remain closed off to our conscious minds, only occasionally leaking their effects into the daylight of our everyday lives.

This may show itself in any number of ways, from increased stress levels to a lack of patience with our loved ones.20140524_162815

It’s important, therefore, for our own health and the well-being of those around us, that we hold a candle to these corners and attempt to shine the light of understanding on our darkness.

We have a tendency to avoid those things that we are afraid of. Or that we feel guilty about.

Yet, we cannot overcome fear or guilt by avoiding or burying them.

Burying issues takes away some of our natural innocence and vulnerability – which are essential for us to be truly open and caring with others.

We need to be able to look deep into our own hearts and feel love for the person we find there if we can ever hope to feel true, unconditional love for another human being.

Those who face their darkest corners, who tilt the candle at the blackness, are far more able to be forgiving of the frailties and imperfections in others.

None of us are perfect, but we like to think that we are.

By turning the light of understanding inwards, we are able to be more caring and compassionate to those around us.

When that happens, we find that life becomes more loving, rewarding and vibrant.

By facing the blackness inside we will see the colour outside more vividly.

 

 

 

 

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Philogyny

Posted on May 23, 2014 by Nick Cork

…For those whose eyes have been opened, there is no turning back.

Once seen, things cannot be unseen.

And with vision, comes responsibility. We must do something.albert-einstein-physicist-we-cant-solve-problems-by-using-the-same-kind-of-thinking-300x300

But, how can we begin to restore balance to an inherently unhealthy and imbalanced world?

We need to bring a different set of values to bear, change the paradigm.

We must adopt and celebrate the feminine energy in our lives.

This is not as far out as it sounds. It’s actually very simple.

At the moment, there is too much Yang and not enough Yin in the world.

We need to bring more feminine Yin energy into our lives and the lives of those around us.

The feminine energy is all about valuing others. This world is currently dominated by the valuing of the self, which is the masculine energy.

At its simplest, it is easy to see how this imbalance can cause problems.

If everyone is valuing themselves and not others, conflict is inevitable. We become like rats in a cage, turning on each other and battling to establish ourselves at all costs.

Once balance is introduced, there is give and take. We allow others the space to fully express themselves and they in turn will allow and encourage us to do the same.

It is difficult in such an imbalanced world to take the initiative. No-one likes to ‘go first’.

If we let our guard down, then we leave ourselves open to attack from less enlightened folks.

This is where courage and faith are needed. Courage to recognise the fears, but to press ahead anyway because it is the right thing to do.

Faith that by taking this step, we are opening ourselves to a more authentic life, where we are living our values and allowing others the space to do the same.

 

 

 

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Misogyny

Posted on May 21, 2014 by Nick Cork

We live in a male dominated world.

Culturally, historically and financially, the world is  run by men.

It is incredibly difficult for any woman, no matter how intelligent, enlightened or talented to reach the top in any profession, discipline or career.

Those that manage to reach the top in their chosen career do so at great personal cost and sacrifice, either forgoing raising a family or somehow fitting in bringing up children with climbing the corporate ladder or running their own business.

Generally without a great deal of support from male partners.

Our society does not appreciate women.

At a very basic level, we are uncomfortable with a successful, strong, independent woman.

Through the media and indoctrination at an early age, we are all programmed to believe that a woman’s role is purely as a support act and breeding companion for the man.

Every form of media that we are bombarded with on a minute by minute basis reinforces this and programmes us all to accept the world as it is.

The latest figures for women on FTSE 100 Boards show that 21.6% of Directors are women (http://www.boardsforum.co.uk/boardwatch.html), but this shrinks back to 16.3% in the FTSE 250.20140518_133927

If you’d just landed here, you’d think everyone was mad for accepting this. Women consistently perform better in every kind of personality and intelligence test than men.

They are generally not prone to making major decisions based on ego or showmanship, are nowhere near as violent and confrontational as men and are almost always the most patient and caring with children and animals.

Yet, every day in every country in the world, at every level of every society, women are denied the same rights as men, mistreated, talked down to, insulted, abused, repressed and disenfranchised.

Misogyny is woven into the fabric of every society and it is so pervasive that we barely notice or acknowledge it any more.

“Hidden in plain sight”.

For those whose eyes have been opened, there is no hope of closing them again. The only thing to do then, is act…

 

 

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