Heart

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Nick Cork

As we head into summer, many young people will be entering the job market for the first time – generally in low paid or part time roles.

Here in the glorious South West of England, many of our young folks will enter the tourism and hospitality industries.

For them, it will be the opportunity to get valuable hands on experience of work, dealing with people in a commercial setting and seeing something of the world via a kitchen door or restaurant table.

So, apart from earning a few extra pounds over the 3 months of summer, what else will our leaders and workers of tomorrow take away from their first summer of work?

Will it be a positive experience for them to take those first steps into the world of work?

For some, this certainly will be the case. There are some very good businesses down here, providing excellent opportunities for young people to gain new skills, hone them and leave with fond memories of a job well done.

For those looking to spend their time with one of the thousands of independent small businesses in the area, money may not be their greatest reward, but an opportunity to learn from someone who has put their heart and soul into a venture will be.

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Many small business owners have rejected the corporate, soulless exploitation of “human resources” (what are we, animated lumps of coal?) and have chosen ‘another way’.

They may not be able to pay high wages, but they can provide something far more valuable to those youngsters willing and able to see the bigger picture – an alternative to the established path through life.

Independence, self reliance, resourcefulness, resilience, persistence, optimism, courage.

These are not skills that can be learnt on a 3 day leadership development course.

They are character traits that can only be acquired through experience or passed on from those who exhibit them on a daily basis.

In the bigger picture, they are far more valuable than a few extra pounds in the pocket over the summer.

 

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Connections

Posted on May 8, 2014 by Nick Cork

Life can pass us by pretty quickly if we’re not careful.

Before you know it, 25 years can have gone in the blink of an eye.

We are left with whispers of conversations, half remembered events and dreams that were either fulfilled or left floating on the winds of time.

We go to all sorts of lengths to slow time down: fitting as much as we can into a day; doing nothing for days; meditation, religion, alcohol, drugs, work.

When we stop and look back, what do we see?

Wealth, possessions, careers, status, family, friends, loved ones?

Things that we claim are important to us and other things that we see as necessary to support those things that are important to us.

Yet we spend much of our time doing those things that we instinctively know are not the most important in our lives.

We put huge efforts into developing and pursuing a career to support our family and provide us with a sense of achievement.

The flip side of this is that we then find ourselves slaves to the system or organisation that supports our career.

Slowly, but surely, we become compromised in order to maintain our status within the organisation.

We lose something of ourselves each time this happens. We bury the feelings of discontent that this arouses in us, concentrating more on our sales targets or next content marketing seminar.

The days and months slip by, we strive ever harder to catch up with our competitors, putting in longer hours, weekends at home, working our holidays.

The faster we run, the less time we have. And on it goes.

Most of us will never wake up from the trance. We slowly shrivel our souls until we are either burnt out or fully paid up members of the corporate beast that strips us of our humanity in the name of business.

Some of us will break free.20140412_065851

Slowly, we will realise that other humans are not put here on the planet as a means of giving us what we want.

They are separate individuals, each capable of achieving amazing things if given the right encouragement and opportunity.

We will understand that we are all the same deep down – we have hopes, fears, dreams, talents, curiosity, knowledge and doubt.

Once we understand and appreciate this connectedness between us all, we may begin to actively seek connections with others.

Not in the sterile world of social media or LinkedIn.

But in the real world of receptionists, call centre staff and shop workers – those who provide a service that we hardly ever notice or, if we do, it is only to complain about it when it doesn’t do what we expect it to do.

Connecting with our fellow humans in a way that is memorable to each other is what lifts us out of the restrictions of space and time and into a world of meaning, rather than things.

 

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Diamonds

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Nick Cork

Formed under immense pressures and heat in the heart of the Earth’s Mantle layer, the diamond is made of crystals of pure carbon and is the hardest known natural mineral on Earth.

Formed 100 miles below the surface around 1 -3 billion years ago, the diamond crystals survived enormous volcanic eruptions before being pushed closer to the surface, where humans have collected and mined them for the past 3000 years.

Diamond is cool to the touch because it conducts heat 5 times faster than copper.

In its pure form, Diamond is the most transparent material known – being able to reflect visible, infra-red, ultra-violet light and all frequencies in between.

Another property of Diamond crystals is that if you place them inside the human body, they will not trigger an immune response.

Interesting and impressive as these facts are, this is not why we love diamonds so much.

We love them because when they catch the light, they sparkle with such intensity and brilliance that it can take our breath away.

Because their beauty is so rare that it moves something deeply spiritual inside us.

Because gazing into them can cause us to lose time as we are completely lost in the moment.

Because we become immersed in their exquisite connection with us, which triggers a longing to hold them and gaze deeply into their core.

Diamonds remind us that there is magic in the world and it is here – right before our eyes.

They show us that the world can be a beautiful place and we are blessed to be able to witness it.

Diamonds, like the eyes of a loved one, help us to believe that there is more to existence than blood and bones…

 

 

 

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Gratitude

Posted on May 4, 2014 by Nick Cork

We are all guilty (to varying degrees) of not appreciating what it is that is important to us until it is no longer with us.

This applies to the big stuff, such as health, family and loved ones, as much as to the less obvious.

One of the surest ways to be happy in life is to consciously appreciate the many gifts we have which we take for granted.

Of course, this is easier said than done. It requires discipline and practice.

We have pressures of work and family life – it’s easy to get caught up in it all and lose sight of what really matters.

Over the years, we slowly accumulate more and more soul junk, burying our natural sparkle under a mountain of worry, stress and frustration.20140428_183158

We stop doing the things that make us happy and concentrate more of our time on the things that we feel we need to do to maintain our status, wealth or possessions.

Even though we know that these are not the most important or nurturing elements of our life.

Are we so immersed in the day to day that we cannot step back and look around for a while, evaluating what is important to us at our core?

Apparently we are. Yet, it is not difficult to do. In fact, it can be achieved with as little as 5 or 10 minutes a day. And it won’t cost a penny.

The simplest way to gain a deeper appreciation of life and the many riches we already possess is to make a list of all the things that we are grateful for.

By sitting down every morning and writing out our list, we will be taking an important step towards contentment and leading a life that is in keeping with our values.

It may feel awkward at first: we can put down a few obvious ones, such as health, security, loved ones or our Muse.

Then we may struggle for a while.

If we stick with it, however, we soon find ourselves noticing things that we can add to our list – the birds singing in the morning, the smell of freshly baked bread, that look in the eye of our loved one when we share a moment.20140504_002014 (1)

The act of writing down a list of things to be grateful for, encourages us to look for things to put on the list.

This in turn has a positive impact on our outlook – we are no longer looking for reasons why we are upset, stressed or angry: we are looking for reasons to be grateful.

 

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Home

Posted on April 30, 2014 by Nick Cork

Home is one of those words that means something to everybody.

For many of us, ‘home’ may refer to a number of different places.

For example, when we say home, we usually mean the place where we currently live – whether alone, with our friends or with our partner and/or children.

As adults, we will also refer to our parents’ house as “home” as well – this usually being the place where we spent our childhood and formative years.

As we move through the world, we can have many physical homes over time – many of us moving house several times over our lifetime.

And yet, no matter how many times we change house, we still refer to it as home.

So, what do we actually mean when we talk about our home?

Home?

Home?

As someone who moved around a lot as a young man, when I talked about home during those days I was referring to the family home where I grew up and where some of my happiest childhood memories were created.

In this context, home has connotations of security, love, warmth and humanity.

Not bricks and mortar, garages, furniture or games consoles.

We will each of us develop our own concept of what home is and for many of us this will be something that transcends where we live.

Our house may be a part of it, for sure, but it is not all.

Take all the people and memories out of your house and you would see a building with things in it – not a home.

We all know the saying ‘home is where the heart is’: but, for me, this is only part of the story.

Home can be anywhere, anything or anybody that provides us with that something that makes us feel secure, loved and happy.

When we say we are coming home, it is usually to be with someone else – a loved one.

So, for me, home is not a place – it is a feeling, an emotion. It has meaning that is special to us.

Not an object, but a subject.

Home is what you feel when you look into the eyes of a loved and tell them how much they mean to you.

At its highest expression, home is not where the heart is – it is where the soul lives.

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Regret

Posted on April 27, 2014 by Nick Cork

Our lives are full of decisions that need making..

Most of which we make only semi-consciously – left or right, up or down, smooth or crunchy.

And yet each one of these small decisions changes our path slightly, bringing in new elements or releasing old ones.

If we were to know years down the line that choosing crunchy peanut butter would one day lead to a conversation with someone who turned out to be the love of our lives, would we have given the decision more thought?20140427_173359

Or less?

Decisions. Easily made – and imbued with significance with the benefit of hindsight.

Apart from our choice of peanut butter, which turned out pretty well, we make many more decisions that, with hindsight, appear not to have turned out well at all.

Over the years, this can lead to guilt and regret, which have a habit of building up into more determined monkeys on our backs.

At its extreme, this regret and guilt can paralyse us into avoiding making those decisions which matter most to us, which is ultimately just as damaging as making a wrong one occasionally.

As with all things we do in this life, it is important to be kind to ourselves and not beat ourselves up about those decisions that didn’t turn out as well as we’d have hoped.

No decision is ever made with the benefit of hindsight and regret can be a very negative and debilitating emotion.

We can minimise some of these decision making regrets by implementing a few simple strategies:

Don’t worry too much about the small stuff – it could go either way and it is really not worth stressing over.

With bigger decisions, a regular meditation practice can help – by finding somewhere quiet to sit for about 20 minutes a day and letting all our thoughts pass us by, without holding on to any of them, we will gradually calm down.20140427_184753

In time, we will develop a serenity and peacefulness that will allow our intuition to come to the fore.

Once we start trusting this intuition, we find that we will have less cause for regret about the decisions we make, as we’ll be making them from a position of what is authentic to us.

If we make our decisions on the basis of what is authentic to us at the time, we cannot then regret them in the future.

Our chief cause for regret then will be on those occasions when we failed to act in a way that was true to our values.

Part of the process to leading a more authentic life is to let go of the decisions that we made in the past. We can resolve not to repeat mistakes, but in reality there are no mistakes.

We do what we do because of who we are. If we wish to make better decisions, we need to grow and change ourselves.

Regret is not futile, as it can inspire us to make the changes that we need to make to evolve.

But , ultimately, we cannot allow ourselves to continually wallow in regret and self pity, as it will prevent us from learning the lessons we need to learn in order to grow.

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Resurrection

Posted on April 20, 2014 by Nick Cork

New beginnings, renewal and growth are the order of the day at this time of year.

Anyone thinking of making major changes to their lives or careers at this time will be wondering whether they are making the right decision.

Ultimately, only time will tell for sure.

But there are a few things we can do to help ensure that we are making choices that resonate with our authentic selves.

If the current situation saps your energy and leaves you feeling drained, emotional and unappreciated – change is probably long overdue.

Life at its best is a celebration. It inspires and motivates us. We can’t wait to get up and get going with the day.

We smile naturally with those we meet, seeking to add value to our work and to the live20140330_101539s of those around us.

It is not an impossible dream – it is within our reach.

Each of us already knows what it is that we need in order to live a life that is enriched, enriching and authentic.

A life that will sparkle with creativity, passion and love.

It’s just that it is normally buried beneath the routine, the day to day stresses and worries of holding things together.

By looking back, we can move forward. By spending some time sitting quietly and honestly reviewing our lives, we will know what needs to be done.

Our hopes and dreams of youth are not dead. They smoulder softly beneath the surface, among the ashes of our disappointments and struggles.

By being calm and gentle with ourselves, we can resurrect the flames of opportunity and claim the life that we deserve.

We know what must be done. The only thing stopping us is fear.

Courage is required. And faith.

Appropriately for this time of year – faith in the resurrection of our dreams and hopes, the rebirth of a life renewed with energy and passion.

Our destiny. Claim it.

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Rise

Posted on April 19, 2014 by Nick Cork

Taking action is the only way to solve our issues and change our circumstances.

It sounds obvious, but many people overlook this simple fact.

If we don’t take action, don’t change something – nothing will change for the better.

We give away our power every day, without realising it in many cases.

One of the flock?

One of the flock?

When people talk over us, we meekly let them.

We complain about poor service to our partners and not to the restaurant manager.

We accept being poorly treated at work, as we think that is just the way it is.

We follow the herd and don’t take the time to consider what values we wish to express in our lives.

Over time this has a debilitating effect on our souls.

We are beaten down, listless, crushed by the weight of the world.

If we find ourselves in this unhappy position, there is only one thing that will make a difference – taking action to change it.20140416_062214

We must find the strength and courage inside to do something to address the little injustices that affect our lives on a daily basis.

And the lives of those around us.

By being true to ourselves and our values, we can learn to be authentic.

Be the person who starts a conversation with a stranger.

Be the person who is kind for no other reason than that it is good to be so.

Be the person who gives space to others to fully express themselves.

Be the person who shows compassion towards all living creatures.

Be the person who rises above the ordinary and touches others with the extraordinary.

The world needs more of you.

 

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Sitting

Posted on April 18, 2014 by Nick Cork

We lead such busy lives these days, that it is hard to get everything done.

More and more is expected of us from those around us – work, family, friends and society.

It can be very debilitating trying to keep up with it all: we work longer hours, sleep less, eat on the go and don’t spend quality time with our loved ones.

This can turn into a repetitive and increasing cycle of stress and feeling under pressure.

We think that if we only had more time, more hours in the day, everything would be fine.

But it won’t. We can’t make time.

So we try to do everything faster.

However, this doesn’t work either in the long term, as we end up even more burnt out than we were before.

What we should be doing is slowing down.

Moon over the river

Moon over the river

Taking time for ourselves, even if it is only for 20 minutes in the morning or afternoon.

We owe it ourselves to sit and be quiet for a while each day.

To practice not doing anything for that time, nor thinking about doing anything.

To not hold on to thoughts of work, shopping, cleaning, entertaining friends or how we are going to pay off the credit cards.

Just breathe, sit quietly and don’t follow any thoughts.

If we do this regularly, over time we find that all those major stresses start becoming smaller and the little stresses disappear altogether.

We no longer view that 20 minutes a day spent sitting quietly as a distraction from our schedule.

We welcome it as an essential tool to enrich and focus our lives.

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River

Posted on April 17, 2014 by Nick Cork

Whilst out running along the River Parrett in Somerset recently, I realised that I had somehow managed to stray from my original path.

I hadn’t noticed where I went wrong or how I came to be where I was – in a thicket of brambles bordered by a large pool of muddy, stagnant water that was left over from the recent floods.

As I stopped, I thought that I could easily just turn around and retrace my steps until I regained my original route – then continue as before.

But I was curious as to where this new track would take me.

I knew the other way: it was a familiar route and took in some nice river views and terrain.

But the new track was unknown territory. The brambles and stagnant floodwater represented an immediate challenge, but beyond that anything was possible.

I decided to go with the new track, pushing through the brambles, crossing a farm gate which had been placed over a river channel and finally emerging into a an area of grassland that was inhabited by a number of surprised cattle, rabbits and deer.

As I ran along, I thought about the decisions we make in life. The well trodden path is familiar and we know what it holds.

As we travel along it unseeing or unthinking, an opportunity may present itself quite by chance.

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River Parrett, Somerset

Our initial reaction may be to turn away and continue on our original path.

Stepping outside of our comfort zone can be daunting – there may well be obstacles in the way to negotiate, some of them huge and seemingly insurmountable.

But if we make the decision to try a new path, we may find ourselves enriching our lives beyond what we ever thought possible.

 

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